Those wacky Japanese

Just when you thought the Japanese couldn't possibly get any more repressed and introverted they've come up with this - the Sound Princess That's right, it appears a considerable portion of Japanese females are embarrased by the sounds emitted from their unusually close to the ground arseholes. But no, after conferring with a few females on the topic it appears women don't take dumps in public toilets - so it must be that slow trickling sound like an ambling stream that disgusts them so much. That's right Japanese females are embarrassed to let others know they are taking a piss. Thanks to the ingenious people at Toto Ltd., instead of being subjected to that dreadful sound of the woman in the next cubicle having a slash, you will hear the simulated sound of a toilet flushing.

But what happens when they've finished their horrible business? They have to flush again right? The only conceivable reason to flush the toilet twice is if you are confronted by one of those unsinkable turds that just refuses to go down and since we know women only lay cable in the privacy of their own homes what is a casual observer, unaware of Japansese toilet etiquette, to make of all this flushing? Probably that all Japanese women are bulimic or that they like the sound of running water - as if they can recreate the ambiance of a zen garden in the local loo.

It also begs the question what next? Since a normal bodily function has been deemed so embarrassing maybe the next step will be that you can pretend you don't go to the toliet at all. Simply replace the sign over the entrance to the toliet with something like 'Powder Room'. Then everyone can stroll confidently into the toilet, I mean powder room under the false pretence of applying some facial cream. Maybe it would give those Japanese with a penchant for elevating themselves above every other nationality another opportunity to support their claims of uniqueness. You can see it now, some senile old bureaucrat announcing that Japanese women don't go to the toilet, it's only those dirty foreign women who stoop to such levels.